Separation almost never places anyone in a more favourable economic position.

The effect of separation is usually results in assets needing to be divided or sold, the family is living in and maintaining two households, incomes are now kept separate and so on.

On top of this most people understand that they will need a family lawyer; and that family law services are by their nature expensive.

So what is the answer?

The good news is if you can control your emotions and manage to keep the brakes on your amygdala (the stress and anxiety emotions part of your brain), a lot can be done to reduce the cost of separating.

Here are five tips:

  1. Reconciliation Counselling – To use some clichés, perhaps you don’t need to throw the baby out with the bath water. And prevention is better than cure. There are plenty of good counsellors out there who can assist. If the relationship can be saved that is arguably the best outcome for everyone;
  2. Stay calm – Easier said than done. Separation is an emotional process and people handle things differently. If you are struggling get help from your GP and/or a counsellor ASAP. A lot of people who don’t handle separation well can engage in destructive and self-destructive behaviours which cause breakdowns in communication and can cause the settlement process, or resolution process, to be drawn out and much more expensive;
  3. Get Good Advice – I’ve spent a lot of years working as a family lawyer in Brisbane, doing my law degree, specialist accreditation in family law and my Masters degree in family law. Family Law is not something you can Google and figure out in an afternoon. Before you and your spouse/partner start to negotiate with each other, find out from an expert in family law what the range of outcomes are. That way you have some idea what the parameters of your negotiation should be;
  4. Negotiate with each other in a business-like manner, in writing – You’ve both had advice now you can get down to brass tacks. If you’ve followed point 2 above, communication should be possible and you’ll save a fortune in not needing family lawyers bounce letters back and forth. Here I find email is best because it is in writing (which encourages people to behave) and date stamped. Please note generally settlement discussions are “without prejudice” and section 131 of the Commonwealth Evidence Act 1995 applies. This means generally settlement negotiations cannot be used in evidence in the family law property proceeding. The key here is to limit your “without prejudice” settlement communications to negotiations; and don’t mention other wider issues in the same correspondence. Please note however if the matter doesn’t settle, and reasonable offers have been rejected, after the trial the judge can consider the offers in deciding whether to make a costs order against a party.
  5. Go back to your family law lawyer – After you’ve reached an agreement, the agreement needs to be formally recorded in order to achieve a final resolution. You’ll already know this however because you will have gotten the advice first at step 3 above. The party’s family lawyers will be able to advise you what method of recording the agreement is best for you.

Sometimes when communications break down some help is required. Using your Brisbane family lawyer places a degree of separation between you and your spouse/partner if relations are strained. Mediation is also a very useful process to help people reach an agreement.

Remember, the cost of separation is not always financial. The emotional cost must also be considered and in my experience most people can only really start to heal their emotional side after their family law issues have been resolved.

Peter HooperHooper family Lawyers in Brisbane

After the reality of the separation has set in, most people start thinking about how the future will look, and how they are going to finalise the current chapter of their lives.

Not surprisingly, for the first time ever it dawns on them they should probably speak to a solicitor and specifically a matrimonial lawyer or family lawyer. If you watch a lot of US drama programs the phrase “divorce lawyer” might be on your radar.

Having never been in this situation before, stressed and fearful about the future, and with the internet overflowing with options for lawyers of all shapes and sizes; the next question springing to mind is “which family lawyer should I choose?”

Here are 5 tips that I think might help you weed out the winners from the “wannabes”:

  • Firstly, make sure they know something about family law and the way the family law system operates. This might seem like a given, but take it from an accredited specialist family lawyer in Brisbane who deals with other Brisbane lawyers on a daily basis; there are plenty who dabble in this area without a high level of knowledge. Ideally your solicitor will specialise in family law and be a Law Society accredited family law specialist. Getting poor advice early on can set the stage for a protracted, unhappy and expensive litigation;
  • Secondly, find a lawyer who’s happy to speak to you frankly about costs. You have the right to negotiate the retainer and it is important that budgets are discussed before the work starts. Sometimes commercial considerations will need to shape the decisions you make; and failing to plan ahead can lead to disaster. The worst lawyer is the one who runs up a massive bill, and deserts you half way through a matter when the funds run dry. Your family lawyer should put your best interests ahead of their fees.
  • Thirdly, your family lawyer needs to be level headed and not seek to unnecessarily antagonise your ex-partner. Separation can be high conflict; however often relationship are ongoing, especially where children are involved. Ask your family lawyer about the FLPA “Best Practice Guidelines for Family Lawyers”. If they turn their head like a confused puppy you may be in trouble. Sometimes it becomes necessary to adopt an aggressive approach, however this should only occur after more amicable attempts at resolution have been exhausted; or in response to an ex-partner (or their lawyer) resorting to bully tactics.
  • Fourthly, you and your family law matter are unique and you need to be treated as such. As I heard one of our Judges say in the Federal Circuit Court in Brisbane recently, “…this is not a sausage factory”. People deal with the stress of separation in different ways and your lawyer needs to have the life experience and maturity to understand where you are at. Additionally, the advice you receive must be tailored to your particular circumstances and a case plan developed early on as to how your matter will be managed. The old business adage applies here, “those who fail to plan, plan to fail”. Having a plan also helps manage your budget; and remain focused on the important issues to be negotiated or determined.
  • Fifthly, find a lawyer you like. I’m not kidding, it’s important. You need to be able to trust this person with the most personal aspects of your family life and you need to respect the advice their giving you. If you like your lawyer chances are it’s because your gut is telling you they have your back and they’re trying hard to help you.

Hopefully the above will be helpful in finding the right lawyer for you, and take some of the stress out of separating; and moving forward with your life.

By Peter Hooper – Brisbane lawyer specialising in family law

 

Contrary to popular belief, most family lawyers I’ve encountered prefer to resolve their matters early, and amicably, as opposed to after a long litigation and destructive trial.

The benefits of an early, amicable resolution are obvious:

  • Move on with your life more swiftly;
  • Spend less of your hard earned money on legal fees;
  • Avoid the emotional cost of a court battle;
  • Protect your children from the emotional trauma of parental conflict; and
  • Preserve a working relationship with your ex-partner that will provide stability for your children, and give them positive role models for their own relationships.

Some people might be tempted to say, “Yes, yes but what can I do, my ex is the problem”.

And this might also be true; however there are approaches to relationship breakdown that can be taken to give yourself the best shot at achieving an amicable separation without rolling over and allowing the ex to tickle your tummy.  

Here is my humble opinion:

  1. Look into your counselling options. First and foremost explore whether your relationship can be fixed, and look at what you can do to improve things. Prevention is always better than cure.
  2. Accept that you can’t change or control your ex-partner, but you do have the ability to control your own situation. This relates to your entire outlook and includes perhaps not drinking so much, getting some exercise and not “mirroring” aggressive behaviour. You can each spend a lot of time focusing on what is wrong with each other; when what you really need to be doing is focusing on yourself.
  3. If the relationship is too broken to fix, be respectful in implementing your exit strategy. Remember you once loved this person and maybe had children with them. If you’re grieving at the loss of your partner or hurt by their conduct, acting out maliciously might provide a short term reward, but in my experience the long term effects are all negative.  Again counselling can be the key to managing the stress of separation.-In writing this I’m reminded of the old Chinese proverb: “He who seeks revenge must first dig two graves.”
  4. Once you have decided or realised that the separation is final, get some advice from an accredited specialist family lawyer. There are two reasons why this is important; firstly, you can’t commence any proper negotiations until you know where you stand, and what the range of outcome or entitlement might be. Secondly, in consulting a family lawyer you will commence the process of managing your post separation communications and relationship;
  5. Obviously when you’re hurting and angry you’re not going to be best friends with your ex. What you should be aiming for is establishing a businesslike approach to your communications. This means focusing on the issues at hand, and not the issues that may have led to the relationship breakdown. Speak to your ex the same way you might speak to someone you don’t know.
  6. Try to engage in a cooperative rather than competitive negotiation. This means rather than arguing for every concession you feel entitled to, try and work out what your motivations and needs are, and try and understand what your ex-partners motivations and needs are.-This is illustrated by the “Orange Story”. The story goes; two sisters fight over an orange. They resolve the fight by agreeing to take half the orange each. One sister uses the rind to make a cake, and throws out the pulp, the other uses the pulp to make juice, and throws out the rind. The story is simplistic but demonstrates that it can be important to understand what underpins the other party’s position;
  7. Be prepared to compromise and narrow the issues. Start your negotiations with the things you can easily agree to, and work towards the more difficult items. If you can tick off some areas of agreement early a positive momentum builds towards resolving all issues.
  8. Factor in the costs of not agreeing. Litigation has a financial and emotional cost.

I tell all my client’s that there is only two ways disputes between parties can be resolved in a civilized society, that is, agreements between the disputing parties or orders from Judges. Following the above will give you the best shot at formulating an early agreement, and avoid setting foot inside a court room.

Peter Hooper is an accredited specialist family lawyer in Brisbane.

Dealing with government departments

  • Ask for the name of the person that you are dealing with for future reference.
  • Keep copies of documents provided to each department (record the date, person and section they are sent to).

Getting time off work

  • Speak to your superiors and colleagues, and explain your situation.-Suggest a possible compromise – Friday afternoons off for an extra 35 minutes a day.-Set a period of time for this then review it.
  • Know your limitations and let others know them too.

Smaller social network

  • Consider volunteering where the work is done on a group basis e.g. fire rescue service, life saving, your child’s school Parents and Friends network.

Learning to cook

  • Ask a friend to teach you to cook in exchange for doing some handy work, mowing their lawn, baby sitting or help with some other project they might have on.
  • Borrow a book from the library on cooking basic meals.

Maintaining the car

  • Look on the web for information on your brand of car.
  • Get road service membership such as NRMA, RACQ etc for when you lock your keys in the car, have a flat tyre, your battery suddenly goes dead, or your car breaks down in an inconvenient location.
  • Take a course in car maintenance.

Shopping for groceries

  • Look on the web for home shopping grocery sites such as Coles or Woolworths.-Browse through each section and make a list of what you need – use this as a prompter each time you shop.-It also gives you an idea of the costs involved.
  • Generic food brands are often cheaper and just as good as the label brands.

Less money

  • Contact your local utility service company to arrange instalment payments for your electricity, telephone, insurance rates etc.
  • Join a group that buys groceries in bulk – this can be cheaper.-These are usually co-ops or local community groups.

Managing relationships

  • Ensure that the important people in your children’s lives are invited to school plays, religious ceremonies, music recitals, sports events etc.

Understanding your children’s routine

  • Have a calendar or notebook with important dates highlighted, e.g. sports carnival, swimming carnival, parent reading at school, doctors appointments, weekend sports locations, etc.

Organising care for the kids

  • Talk to your child’s school and see what school care programs you can access e.g. before and after-school care, and holiday programs.
  • Place a notice for parents in the school newsletter requesting child minding after school.-In return, offer something that you can do for the other parent.
  • Enquire with your local community service provider about available child care programs.

Extract from “What about Me?” Practical ideas on looking after yourself after separation.

Article – PDF – Succession planning

Blended families and second marriages can be challenging; and statistically second marriages are more likely to end in divorce than first marriages.[i]  For many people in this situation, often middle aged or later in life[ii], one concern is how can assets be best protected moving towards retirement and/or preserved for the children of the first marriage in the event of separation or death?

The potential claims

The potential claims that might arise from a second spouse/partner are typically those pursuant to the Family Law Act 1975 (“FLA”) with respect to property adjustment/spousal maintenance in the event of relationship breakdown[iii]; or a family provision claim.

A family provision claim is made pursuant to the Succession Act 1981 (“Succession Act”) in the event of death. This might be an issue where there are children from a first marriage who benefit under the will. A family provision claim is against the estate and arises if the deceased spouse does not make adequate provision in the will for the surviving spouse.

The difficulty for clients with respect to the above is:

  • High costs of family law litigation in the event of dispute; or high legal costs for the estate in family provision litigation;
  • These types of claims involve discretionary remedies which creates a degree of uncertainty as to the outcome;
  • Acrimonious dispute between spouses/partners; or between the children of the first marriage and spouse/partner.

What protection can the law offer?

Methods of asset protection such as via corporate or trust structures are of little assistance in the family law arena.-It is well settled that the real issue for the court in determining whether the matrimonial property pool ought to be expanded by trust or corporate assets is control.[iv]

Thus the court can look behind the veil and determine whether the facts and circumstances support a conclusion that assets ought to be included as “matrimonial property”.

Since 2000 (and 2009 for defacto couples) changes to the FLA make it possible for persons contemplating a relationship/marriage; or in a relationship/marriage; to contract out of the property adjustment/spousal maintenance provisions by entering into a Binding Financial Agreement.

What is a Binding Financial Agreement?

A Binding Financial Agreement is a Financial Agreement that is binding because it has met the formal requirements of the FLA necessary to make it binding.[v]-Where a Financial Agreement is binding, it removes the jurisdiction of a court to make a property adjustment or spousal maintenance order.[vi]

Thus the Binding Financial Agreement can specify matters such as how property is to be distributed, whether property brought to a relationship is to be retained or quarantined out of the property pool available for distribution, whether spousal maintenance is payable and the extinguishment of future spousal maintenance claims.

Third parties can be parties to Binding Financial Agreements and thus inter entity transfer of property is possible as well as making allowances for loans from family members etc.

What happens to a Binding Financial Agreement when a party to the agreement passes away?

A Binding Financial Agreement operates despite the death of a party and is binding on the personal representative of a party.[vii]

Opinions are divided however as to whether a Binding Financial Agreement for married couples becomes operative upon the death of a party. The significance of this would be to allow the Binding Financial Agreement to be used as a succession planning tool i.e. the Binding Financial Agreement would specify what joint property (or even property in the name of the surviving spouse) would fall into the deceased estate upon the death of a party pursuant to the Binding Financial Agreement.

The arguments for and against concern the wording of a number of sections[viii] (see endnote for explanation and why I think Binding Financial Agreements have force and effect on death) however there may be other provisions included in a Binding Financial Agreement that make a Binding Financial Agreement useful as a succession planning tool and protect against a family maintenance provision claim.

Binding Financial Agreements and family provision claims

Apart from the Binding Financial Agreement potentially being used to include or exclude assets from an estate, there is also potential to use the Binding Financial Agreement to “contract out of” the family maintenance provisions of the Succession Act.

In this respect the Binding Financial Agreement cannot remove the jurisdiction of the court to make an order because the Succession Act is Queensland legislation while the FLA is Federal legislation. Nevertheless a provision in the Binding Financial Agreement to the effect that neither party shall make a claim on the estate of the other, while not binding on a State Court, may represent important evidence of the intention of the parties and with respect to what “family provision” was considered adequate by the parties. This was the case in Queensland in Hills v Chalk & Ors (as executors of the estate of Chalk (deceased)) [2008] QCA 159where the court said at 46:

“In this case, the voluntary statement of the parties of their mutual intentions and expectations in a form intended to be binding affords a reliable conspectus of the totality of the relationship of the parties and of their respective relationships with others who have a claim on their bounty. In my opinion, the court should have regard to such a voluntary statement by the parties of their intentions and expectations…”

Further, in other jurisdictions the succession laws have been amended to permit parties to contract out of family maintenance provisions. For example, section 95  of the NSW Succession Act 2006  provides a person may contract out of/release their rights to a family provision order[ix]. A clause can be inserted into the Binding Financial Agreement in contemplation of the succession law in Queensland being amended to allow for a similar provision.

Getting a Binding Financial Agreement?

Some people may argue that a Binding Financial Agreement in contemplation of marriage or “pre nuptial agreement” is unromantic or demonstrates a lack of commitment. Maybe…but having this discussion at a time when both parties are in love and looking to the future could also be said to be a preferable time to negotiate what is fair as opposed to during the period of emotional turmoil at the end of a relationship.

For people with children to another relationship and assets hard earned it makes sense to obtain the best protection the law can offer.

For people wanting to leave behind a legacy to children and others, rather than leaving behind court battles and an estate ravaged by legal costs, a Binding Financial Agreement can offer more certainty and protection for loved ones. Many lawyers will understand that often claims such as family provision claims may be settled and paid out even if they are without merit simply to avoid the legal costs of defending them.

The Binding Financial Agreement doesn’t have to be entered into at the start of the relationship; it can be made during and even after the relationship has broken down.

Binding Financial Agreements are very helpful provided they are created by a skilled lawyer. Strict legislative requirements are necessary to make them binding and in some circumstances they can be set aside.

Two idioms best capture the essence of Binding Financial Agreements, they are: a stitch in time save nine but a chain is only as strong as its weakest link.

 


[i] Australian Institute of Family Studies

[ii] 2011 Census data show that in 2011 the median age in Australia for males to become separated was 40.8 with divorce occurring at 44.4 while for females the median age for separation was 38.1 and 41.5 for divorce.

[iii] Since 1 March 2009 most de facto couples in Queensland separating after that date are able to seek remedies pursuant the Family Law Act 1975 which are in most respect the same as those available to married couples.

[iv] Deputy Commissioner of Taxation v Austin (1998) 16 ACLC 1,555; and Coventry, Coventry and Smith (2004) FLC 93-184.

[v] See sections 90G and 90UJ FLA.

[vi] See sections 71A and 90SA FLA.

[vii] See sections 90H and 90UK FLA.

[viii] Section 90H and 90UK are mirror provisions for married and defacto Binding Financial Agreements (“BFA”) except that the s.90UK provision contains a note which reads, “If the parties are still in the defacto relationship when one of them dies the de facto relationship is not taken to have broken down for the purposes of enforcing the matters mentioned in the financial agreement. Because section 90H doesn’t have a similar note it could be argued it is intended to mean death constitutes relationship breakdown for the purposes of the BFA. The difficulty with this is sections 90B(2) and 90C(2) refer to marriage “breakdown” which the definition in section 4 provides “in relation to a marriage, does not include a breakdown of the marriage by reason of death”.

The above would seem to put the matter beyond issue except for sections 90DA(1) and 90DA(1A). Section 90DA(1) requires that upon marriage breakdown, a BFA has no force or effect until a party signs a separation declaration. Section 90DA(1A) provides that section 90DA(1) does not need to be complied with if either or both spouses die. The note to section 90DA(1A) goes on to say:-“This means the financial agreement will be of force and effect in relation to the matters mentioned in subsection (1) from the time of the divorce or death(s)” (my emphasis). Thus the section clearly indicates a BFA has force and effect from the time of death.

In further support of this idea is section 90B(3)(b) and 90C(3)(b). This section provides that the BFA may contain “other matters” i.e. other matters in addition to how in the event of breakdown the property, financial resources and spousal maintenance is dealt with. It is submitted “other matters” might refer to how in the event of death the property, financial resources and spousal maintenance is dealt with.

A BFA is not terminated by death. Section 90J provides a BFA can “only” be terminated by including a terminating clause in a subsequent BFA (as referred to in sections 90B, 90C and 90D) or by making a “terminating agreement”. Therefore if the BFA is still operative, the surviving spouse could choose whether to sign the separation declaration in section 90DA(1) and give the BFA “force and effect”. Presumably this is why section 90DA(1A) was inserted and in my view gives further weight to the argument that BFA’s have force and effect on death of a party.

[ix] The release of rights to a family provision order in NSW requires the courts approval and other findings with respect to advantage to the releasing party; that it was prudent, fair and reasonable; and the releasing party had independent advice.

 

Peter Hooper – Hooper Mill Family Lawyers – We are family lawyers in Brisbane. Find us searching family lawyers Brisbane; divorce lawyers Brisbane; family lawyer Brisbane; Brisbane family lawyers; family law solicitors Brisbane; divorce lawyer Brisbane; family law lawyers Brisbane; divorce solicitors Brisbane; divorce lawyers in Brisbane; best divorce lawyer Brisbane.

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