Accredited Specialist Family Lawyers Gold Coast and Coolangatta

Hooper Mill Family Lawyers is making a sea change…of sorts…we’re staying in the Brisbane Bayside (we love it here) however we now also have a branch office on Griffith Street, Coolangatta.

We will be offering specialised Family Law advice to the Gold Coast and Northern NSW regions including:

  • Family law advice;
  • Consent orders;
  • Parenting Plans and child custody matters;
  • Mediation;
  • Property settlement;
  • Spousal maintenance;
  • Domestic Violence protection;
  • All other aspects of de facto and family law legal and Court representation.

Our office in Coolangatta is situated within walking distance to the Magistrates Court at Coolangatta, and we will be providing representation in the Federal Circuit Courts at Lismore and Southport, as well as representation in the Brisbane Family and Federal Circuit Courts.

For us this is an exciting opportunity to grow our firm, forge new relationships, and provide our expert family law services on the Gold Coast and Northern NSW.

Our mediation services via “Decide Mediation” will also be available from the Gold Coast office, and we are available to travel for mediation from Brisbane to Coolangatta and Northern NSW.

Regardless of whether you wish to see us in Brisbane or on the Gold Coast, we look forward to helping you resolve your family and de facto law issues in a timely and cost effective manner. Please contact our Coolangatta office on 1800 891 878 for an appointment with an Accredited Family Law Specialist. If you would like more information about us, please visit our website at https://hooperandmillfamilylawyers.com.au/

With divorce comes property settlement, the two go hand-in-hand. This procedure is stereotyped as a long, bitter feud between the parties over money, furniture, and other assets. But it doesn’t need to be this way.

 

What’s a property settlement?

A settlement occurs after a couple separates and begins divorce proceedings. Assets like properties, bank accounts, cars, and the like come under scrutiny. A settlement is possible without court involvement if the former partners can come to an agreement. To make the agreement legally binding, the family lawyer can put in an application for a court order.

 

How is property divided?

Property settlement and issues surrounding it fall under the Family Law Act. If there’s a dispute and it proceeds to court the following steps are taken:

 

  1. Identifying and valuing all property from the marriage/partnership
  2. Identifying and valuing the contributions each person has made to the property through income, homemaking, inheritances, etc.
  3. Factors about each party are considered. This includes their level of personal responsibility, their ability to look after others (particularly children), their ability to earn, their age and state of health
  4. A ruling is made

 

The idea that property is divided equally between former partners is a myth, one that your family lawyer will quickly dispel. As stated above, how much of the property settlement a party is entitled to depends on their overall contribution during the marriage and other factors post-divorce.

 

Is it possible to settle without involving the courts?

Your family lawyer will encourage it. If mediation is a possibility it’s the better option to take. Property settlement is easier when both sides, though separated, still have a good relationship. Issues like child custody, and deciding who gets the home and inheritances settle faster through mediation. Going through the courts takes time and money.

 

What if we weren’t married?

De facto partnerships, including same-sex partnerships, still fall under the Family Law Act after amendments were made in 2009. Former couples can apply for consent orders and spousal maintenance like any married couple. You must apply for consent orders and adjustments a year after the divorce was final (two years for de facto relationships).

 

My partner is trying to sell the house/other assets. What do I do?

Get legal advice and apply for an injunction immediately. This stops any sale in its tracks. If it’s too late to stop the sale, your lawyer can at least apply for the money to be ‘frozen’ until the settlement is final.

 

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Handling divorce at Christmas with the kids

6 of the best things you can do when divorce gets emotional

Sick of crying, feeling angry and upset, or just plain tired during your divorce proceedings? That’s not unusual. Even if the split is an amicable one, you’re parting ways with somebody you once loved and shared good times with. Taking care of ourselves often falls to the side at times like these and that’s actually detrimental to our health.

During a divorce we’re going through a loss, a trauma. And while there’s plenty of support from family and friends it’s good to ‘shake things up a bit’, rather than going to their homes and meet them for coffee every other day because you can’t think of much else to do. Here’s some things you can do to ‘drive yourself to distraction’ in the best way possible.

 

  • Dust off your hobbies

You stick to your hobbies because you enjoy them. They go on the backburner more often than not because life gets busy. But if there’s ever a time to get back into painting/cooking/pottery, it’s during a divorce. Here’s some places that can help facilitate your passion:

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  • Download some podcasts

Podcasts are the new way to catch up with what’s going on in the world. There’s several for every genre; drama, news, socio-cultural and educational. These are some of the top ranked from various sites around the web.

Not everyone listens to a podcast idly; they’re  great for making time pass faster at work or on the walking trail. And that brings us to the next point.

 

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  • Get back to the gym

Get those endorphin levels up and build those muscles! It’s true what they say, a strong body equals a strong mind. Hundreds of studies attribute a positive mindset to regular exercise. If you go to the gym already maybe try a different class instead of sticking to your regular routine. You’ll actually ‘shock’ your body when you do something new and who knows? You might actually like it.

 

  • Rewatch something you love

Everyone is guilty of binging on their favourite television show or some Netflix original series. But if it made you feel good, why not do it again? Make yourself a cup of tea and put on that Simpsons marathon.

 

  • Learn something new

MOOCs (massive open online courses) are popping up everywhere. They’re a great way to build on your old skills and learn some new ones. Most of them are free, though you can pay extra if you want a certificate. Courses are from genuine universities like RMIT, Harvard, Griffith, Australian National University, and the University of Queensland. Some of the best providers are below.

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Christmas and holidays are common sources of conflict when making custody arrangements. Which parent gets to spend the actual day with their child? Does the child have to go through two Christmases? Your first Christmas post-divorce will be difficult but we have some advice to help you get through.

Dr Robert Emery, PhD, advises parents that sometimes it’s better not to be friends post-divorce. Sometimes it works and couples reconcile (though this is rare). But when the relationship is beyond salvaging and there’s lingering bitterness, he recommends the following: treat your ex as a business partner. You’re bound together by the child you have, and there’s still a job to do. Dr Emery further explains how to handle the holidays in his blog on Psychology Today:

  • Remember that Christmas isn’t about you or one-upping your ex through the gifts you give. Explain the values that come with Christmas to your kids (thankfulness, forgiveness etc)
  • Make new traditions with your kids. If they don’t spend the actual day with you, create your own brand of Christmas that year.
  • Don’t avoid your ex-partner. Communicate and schedule visiting times, and even presents. This way you both know your child’s movements and you don’t double up on gifts.

Divorce and the whole process will hit the kids hard, writes, Christina McGhee. Ultimately, it’s up to the parents to explain the situation as best they can, and what’s going to happen next. Christina urges parents to be transparent about how the upcoming Christmas will be different to those in the past. She also recommends these steps to keep sanity, perspective and emotions in order:

  • Let the children’s needs be the backbone of planning your Christmas
  • Explain that different doesn’t have to be a bad thing. Rather, it’s a chance to start new traditions with each parent.
  • Make sure you care for yourself, whether it’s for an hour or a day. Your emotions are going through the wringer and the children are going to pick up on it if you don’t stay calm.

Separation and divorce proceedings can cause strong emotional reactions such as anger, hurt, fear and anxiety about the future. When emotions are running high it can be difficult to make the best choices.

The following are some tips to assist you with the emotional aspects of marriage breakdown.

  • Consider reconciliation

Divorcing isn’t always the final solution. Ask yourself whether the relationship can be salvaged. There are relationship counselling services you can access and participate in as a couple.

The Family Law Act 1975 requires that your family law solicitor provides you with prescribed material regarding the availability of reconciliation services. Prevention is better than cure, so ultimately reconciliation may be the best outcome for your family, emotionally and financially.

  • What if the marriage or relationship cannot be saved?

Often when people are at the point of obtaining advice from a family lawyer, the reality is the relationship can’t be saved.

If you find yourself separating, there are steps you can take to make the process a bit easier on yourself.

  • Don’t forget the self-care

Taking care of yourself makes you feel better in a difficult situation.   

It’s not always easy to do but getting enough sleep, eating healthy food, exercise and getting help, or information, will improve your situation and outlook. If you are struggling with anxiety or depression a useful place to start is with your general practitioner who can refer you to psychologists or counsellors.

Your lawyer can help to demystify the legal process, and provide you with a road map for resolution leading to the next phase of your life.

Something simple, like your favourite meal, is a great form of self-care

Something simple, like your favourite meal, is a great form of self-care

  • Flexibility

If you’re negotiating property settlement or children’s time, it is important to consider keeping an open mind and not become “positioned”.

Becoming positioned is when you draw lines in the sand, create “bottom lines” and say things like “my way or the highway”.

Often in negotiations or mediation, it is more useful to consider the interests of everyone involved (including children), the costs involved in litigation (including the non-financial, emotional cost of a protracted legal fight) and the time you will spend dealing with lawyers and Courts that you could be spending getting on with your life.

  • Try not to “mirror” hostile behaviour

Often separation isn’t amicable. You may find yourself confronted with aggressive, angry and unreasonable behaviour.

If you’re also angry it can be a natural reaction to respond in kind. This situation is rarely helpful and tends to escalate conflict.  Conflict in family law matters tends to make resolutions more difficult to achieve and can be very emotionally harmful to children caught up in the middle of such a dispute between their parents.

You can’t control what your ex-partner is doing but you can control yourself, and choose not to mirror destructive behaviours. Often when one party refuses to “mirror” aggression, a de-escalation will occur. Family violence of course should not be tolerated in any context. If you or a family member is confronted by family violence or threats of family violence you should contact police or discuss options for your safety with your lawyer.

  • Get proper advice

You may find after separation you start receiving lots of advice from family and friends about your “legal rights”. While they generally mean well, be wary of the back yard or BBQ advice.

Family law is complex and while someone may know someone with a situation similar to yours, family law outcomes will depend on many different factors unique to individual circumstances. Early advice from a family law solicitor will assist you understand what you need to do, and will likely make you feel better.

In my experience, one of the most common types of remarks people make leaving my office after an initial attendance for advice is “thank you, I feel much better now”.

Need more help? We have these too:

Mediation is when two conflicting parties in an argument come together with an impartial mediator, whose role is to impartially facilitate discussion and negotiation. The aim is to find a resolution for their dispute and avoid costly, lengthy and emotionally taxing litigation and Court proceedings.

Family Dispute Resolution (or FDR) is defined in section 10F Family Law Act 1975 as:

“A process (other than a judicial process) in which a family dispute resolution practitioner helps people affected, or likely to be affected, by separation or divorce to resolve some or all of their disputes with each other; and in which the practitioner is independent of all of the parties involved in the process

A Family Dispute Resolution Practitioner (FDRP) is a mediator, accredited with the Attorney General Department after undergoing additional and specific training.

People looking at their options for mediation have lots of questions about what a mediator does and how the FDRP process works. Some of these questions are listed below.

 

  • Mediation vs divorce lawyer – What’s the difference?

Your lawyer is your advocate retained to represent your interests in a Family Law matter or Divorce proceeding. They work in your best interest to get you the best outcome possible. Your ex-partner’s Divorce lawyer will do the same for them. Lawyers are required in litigation before the Court which can be a consuming process, both emotionally and financially.

Mediation empowers separated couples to find an outcome themselves, with or without lawyers being involved. Discussions in mediation are ‘without prejudice’ and cannot be used as evidence in Court if an agreement isn’t reached.

Mediators provide a structure/process for discussions to occur. They address:

  • power imbalances between the opposing sides through interventions
  • assist the parties to better understand the interests and concerns of the other party
  • facilitate negotiation

Most importantly, the mediator is impartial while a Divorce Lawyer represents only one side in the dispute.

 

  • Are the mediation sessions confidential?

Divorce litigation, where the matter goes to court, are confidential and protected by confidentiality provisions in the Family Law Act 1975.

Mediation and FDR is also confidential, and the discussions are “without prejudice” which means the proceedings can’t be used in evidence. There are exceptions to confidentiality though, such as:

  • if a party makes threats to commit a criminal offense
  • information regarding commission of a crime comes to light
  • there’s information regarding risk to a child

The mediator or FDRP is required by the Regulations to report in the above circumstances.

 

  • I don’t feel safe, what should I do?

Mediation or FDR may not be appropriate if there’s family violence or other power imbalances that affect a party’s ability to participate effectively in the process.

Prior to mediation your mediator or FDRP will usually contact you with a series of questions as part of a screening process. The screening process will allow the mediator or FDRP to decide whether the mediation should proceed.

If there’s family violence but the mediator thinks mediation can proceed, the process can be conducted by way of ‘shuttle’ with the parties kept separately and the mediator acting as a go between.

 

  • What happens if we can’t agree?

Sometimes parties can’t resolve their differences with the assistance of mediation. Sometimes couples, despite their good intentions, just can’t agree. Hopefully some issues can be narrowed or better understood via the process and in parenting matters the Family Dispute Resolution Practitioner can issue a Section 60I Certificate allowing the parties to file in Court. The Certificate will indicate to the Court one of the following from the FDR:

  • The parties attended and made a genuine effort to resolve the dispute;
  • The parties attended but one or both did not make a genuine effort to resolve the dispute;
  • Mediation didn’t proceed because one party didn’t attend after being invited by the FDRP;
  • Mediation wasn’t appropriate.

 

  • But what happens when we do agree?

Depending on the dispute there are different potential outcomes if the parties agree.

For property settlement disputes, heads of agreement can be reached and signed which set out the basis for a Consent Order, or Binding Financial Agreement, to be produced.

In parenting disputes, a Parenting Plan will record the agreement which may or may not be made into a Consent Order at a later date. Whether there is a Consent Order, or the agreement remains as a Parenting Plan is a matter for the parties.

 

  • What will mediation do for me?

Mediation empowers the parties to make their own decisions. This tends to create a greater likelihood for satisfaction with respect to outcomes (particularly as an alternative to having a Judge impose an Order).

Experienced Family Lawyers will understand that very often neither party walks away satisfied from “having their day in Court”. Mediation can significantly reduce costs of litigation, the delays often experienced with the process and the animosity created by the opposing side.

Particularly in parenting matters where child focus is important, mediation can assist the parties to move away from entrenched positions. FDR allows them to closely explore each other’s interests and the best interests of the children in the dispute.

 

I once heard a Judge tell a mother and father, “I don’t know your children, or love your children – why do you want me to make these important decisions for them”.

 

Need more information? Read these:

You may have received information about property settlements from television shows, back yard BBQ’s, people you know, and good old Google searches. There’s a problem with this, though. Only your divorce lawyer (also called a family lawyer) can properly advise and guide you through the settlement process.

When you don’t have a family lawyer, what you find, hear or read
might not apply to you, like these five (debunked) myths below.

 

Myth #1: We can only start dividing property once we divorce

Not true. You can begin settlement proceedings when you separate. Calling your family/divorce lawyer is an important first step to take if you know there’s no chance of reconciliation.

Getting the right information early assists in minimising conflict, obtaining faster resolution and reducing legal costs.

Your divorce lawyer at Hooper Mill Family Lawyers will answer any questions you have during an initial consultation, which can take up to two hours. Bring any documents you believe are important and make a list of you and your partner’s assets, superannuation and liabilities.

 

Myth #2: Everything is a 50/50 split

Just because you’re married or in a de facto relationship doesn’t mean assets are split 50/50 on separation.

The law requires that the contributions and future economic circumstances of the parties are examined. The amount of time the parties are together and number and age of children is often examined in assessing how much one side will receive.

The contributions of the parties are not just financial, but also non-financial and as homemaker and parent. Financial contributions do not rank more highly than others. That saying ‘money isn’t everything’ certainly applies here.

 

Myth #3: The only way to end this is going to court

Your divorce lawyer, divorce lawyer or family lawyer assists you to avoid going to court. Most will regard it as the last option. Instead of going to court, most divorce cases can get settled through mediation.

Even if court proceedings begin, the process is very much geared towards settlement. There’ll be directions for a conciliation conference or mediation ordered early on. Statistically, of the matters that begin in court only about 2% to 5% go all the way through to a final hearing.

 

Myth #4: The breadwinner will get more

The Court looks at the contributions that are direct and indirect, financial and nonfinancial. They also regard the acquisition, conservation and improvement of the properties for settlement; and as parent and homemaker, when it comes to adjusting property and superannuation. Even if one parent was a homemaker and didn’t work, they still contributed significantly to raising the children and maintaining the home. This is regarded the same as the breadwinner’s contribution.

When deciding how to divide property, the Court looks at the following:

  • The net value of the property, assets and superannuation
  • Contributions both parties have made over the years
  • The future needs of each side

 

Myth #5: My partner cheated, so the odds are in my favour

The Family Law Act 1975 introduced the concept of “no fault” divorce. Therefore the majority of judges aren’t concerned with any alleged misconduct from one side. Not even when the misconduct could be regarded as “immoral” or similar.

This changes if the misconduct has an economic impact. Where there has been a negligent, reckless or wanton destruction of property, the conduct of whoever’s responsible is considered. Gambling or even the effect of domestic violence on property are examples of this.

In child custody cases, behaviour/conduct is closely examined. The conduct, though, must be relevant to best interests of the child, especially when protecting them from unnecessary risks. Will the settlement affect a parent’s ability to keep their kids safe from emotional, physical or sexual harm?

The above are some of the “myths” commonly encountered, but there’s plenty more out there. You best way forward is to trust a family law expert, your divorce lawyer. We set you on the correct path from the moment you walk into your consultation.

When a separation happens, it’s logical to contact a divorce lawyer to guide you through the process. There’s a lot of advice for them to give and they can’t explain it all in one meeting, so we compiled this list.

Help us help you.

It’s better to come prepared to the initial meeting and the ones that follow. Relevant dates (marriage, birth dates etc), financial documents such as tax information, payslips, receipts, phone records, letters, and the like will help your divorce lawyer get a better picture of the situation. It is very helpful to produce a list of all of the assets and liabilities of the marriage or relationship.

Don’t do things out of spite.

Divorces are what you make of them, and contrary to common belief there is such a thing as an amicable divorce. It’s not good to be that person who throws out their partner’s things onto the pavement and blasts angry messages over Facebook. Vindictive, angry behaviour makes resolution more difficult and in some cases amounts to family violence.

Don’t listen to divorce gossip.

No matter how good your friend’s or family’s intentions are, everyone’s situation is different. Don’t ruin a potentially smooth process by comparing your situation to your sister’s/neighbour’s/anyone else’s. It’ll cause you headaches of all different kinds.

You are important, so take care of yourself.

Get a counsellor if you need to. Lean on someone you trust (just don’t listen to their divorce advice) and be with your children. Go to the gym and sweat out some frustration. There’s no ‘emotional justice’ in divorce, or control on either side. So don’t expect to ‘win’ per se, just be happy you made it through.

The process takes time.

The courts, the law, and the paperwork in your divorce moves according to its own schedule. Litigation takes even longer thanks to court dates, applications and the like. Your divorce lawyer will advise against going to court, but sometimes it can’t get helped if there’s major issues that can’t be resolved easily. Clients shouldn’t expect to walk away from the whole affair quickly. There’s assets to divide and sometimes custody to work out.

You can’t talk to your spouse’s solicitor.

If you have representation of your own, it’s not allowed. If you try and contact them they won’t speak to you. Your own divorce lawyer is on your side and is there to convey messages. You can trust them to do it.

A child custody lawyer is no stranger to disputes, separations, and court proceedings. They’ve seen and experienced it all. Having a lawyer like this during a difficult time is best for the parent who doesn’t know where to start or who to turn to. The lawyer’s sat through hostile disputes, the more ‘civilised’ mediations, and custody matters going to court.

Despite this, some people might ask:“is this person qualified?”. Skepticism is natural and, of course, you want the best. Any legal practioner you meet has worked long and hard to get to where they are today. They’d have gone to university, then proceeded to Practical Legal Training. This is required in all states except Western Australia. Completing the practical training earns them a Graduate Certificate in Legal Practice. The prospective lawyers must then apply for a license to practice and admission to the law society in their state. Having a membership with a society puts their name on a “roll call” of lawyers that are qualified to work. 

Lawyers are constantly educating themselves; they attend seminars and receive updates from the law societies they’re registered with. Every few years, attourneys and law practices must update their licenses in order to keep working.

After reading all the above information, you know your lawyer is qualified for at least general practice. Many lawyers and solicitors commonly go on to study their masters, attain graduate diplomas, and have memberships with the Queensland Law Society and the Family Law Practitioners Association. Child custody lawyers, or at least other employees in the firm, can work as solicitors and mediators. You’ll want these people on your side during dispute resolution, something compulsory in every custody case.

There is no official title for ‘child custody lawyers’ as such, but there’s attourneys who’ve got experience with parenting disputes. Offices like Hooper Mill Family Lawyers deal with cases involving custody issues, domestic violence, and property law among others.

A child custody lawyer goes through years of formal education but never stops learning. They earn their stripes at university, through traineeships, and long hours. Clients come to them during one of the most difficult periods they’ll ever face. But the lawyer has seen and experienced it all.

Separation is usually stressful but often more so where domestic violence has characterised the relationship, or has become present on separation.

Domestic or family violence has several definitions and can be physical, emotional, financial, sexual, social or spiritual. Often domestic violence is grounded in one person attempting to exercise their control over another person.

Research into domestic violence indicates there are categories or characteristics to the behaviour that professionals working with people caught up in violent relationships ought to recognise. Some examples are:

  • “Coercive and controlling violence” – where violence is used to disempower or control another person;
  • “Situational” -where arguments escalate to the point of violence, often by both parties towards each other;
  • “Violent resistance” – when a partner uses violence to defend against abuse;
  • “Separation induced violence” – often isolated acts of violence in response to the stress of separation, seeking to regain control.

Nobody should ever feel unsafe in a relationship. But for your health and safety, there are important steps to take when you separate in circumstances of family violence.

Escape – Physical safety first

If you are in a situation of immediate danger remove yourself, children and pets from that situation.

If you are unable to get to safety you should immediately call Police.

Getting to safety is often very difficult for practical, financial and emotional reasons however there is support available.

Some of the assistance currently available is:

  • DV Connect Women’s Line 1800 811 811
  • DV Connect Men’s Line 1800 600 636
  • Kids Help Line 1800 55 1800
  • Lifeline 13 11 14

Currently the Queensland Government has useful information available on the following link:

https://www.qld.gov.au/community/getting-support-health-social-issue/domestic-family-violence-getting-help/

Some organisations recommend preparing a “go bag” that includes clothes, cash and essentials for the children. Having copies of financial information, and other important paperwork such as pass ports is important as well. The Domestic Violence Crisis Service has a useful checklist that can help with the planning.

Get a lawyer

Empowering yourself includes getting a legal specialist on your side to assist you.

In this situation knowledge is power; and knowing your rights with respect to Protection Orders, child custody, property settlement and court procedures, can assist you to with separation strategy. Your lawyer is your guide during this tough time.

Some charity organisations against domestic violence offer free advice or you may be eligible for legal aid. Some lawyers, such as Hooper Mill Family Lawyers, are private firms on the Legal Aid Queensland panel who can make the application for you, and be nominated as your family law solicitor.

Tell someone

If you are living with family violence speak up.

Ideally you would make a complaint to Police if you are a victim, however you may not yet be prepared to make a formal complaint.  

Counselling services such as those referred to above may be able to assist and if you need someone to talk to.

Trusted friends and family members can also be good people to talk to regarding the situation as well as a trusted general medical practitioner.

It is important that you are certain whoever you talk to will not report back to the perpetrator.

What if a Protection Order is breached?

A breach of a Protection Order in Queensland is a criminal offence.

If a Protection Order has gotten breached, the Police will require evidence before bringing criminal charges against the perpetrator. In criminal court matters, there is a higher standard of proof (“beyond a reasonable doubt”). The evidence the Police need must be sufficiently strong.

Police will often say to victims they should record any breaches if possible. This should only be done however when it is safe for you to do so. For information regarding your legal rights to make recording please refer to our article of the topic:

https://hooperandmillfamilylawyers.com.au/recordings-as-evidence-in-courts-exercising-jurisdiction-under-family-law-act-1975-2/

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